Infested

The Blog has been over run comment wise by a little pissant who, who I'm currently tracking down one way or another. But for the time being comments are off and I"m going to have to work on a registration system. If the little vaginal blood fart would care to sign up for it, then I'd be glad to give him posting rights, but I'm approving all registrants first and the registration info will need to be valid sooooooooooo. I doubt we'll see this sultan of shithead much more.

-M

**Update on the Butt Plug**

So you're favorite Douche and mine has a name. It's Mr. Peter D. Embring of Brown University anonymity. Besides being so in need of intellectual validation that Mr. Embring feels the need to sign his posts with his middle initial, Mr. Embring STILL fails to point out what it is about my Blog that makes it a waste of space... SO since I still doubt greatly he even would be allowed around college students (the date rape percentages might drastically increase if he does), I'll go check, send him an email and see if I can't find out who his superiors are and if they are aware of what a gigantic tool he is. While that is going on I'll go check out his blog profile...

Oh my god what an incredible hack. He linked his profile to some lame ass band, which couldn't even get coverage on Fuse, how pathetic is that? http://www.sixpence-ntr.com/home_content.html#, This is what makes him tick? This is probably the most adult oriented emo shite I've ever heard besides Sting.... Mr. Embring I hope you're students are aware of what a horrific turd bomb you are and that they should forget everything you've taught them AFTER they pass their tests. You probably spend you're evening eating green salads and talking about how you would fix the homeless problem in America. You pseudo-intellectual pissant. If you ever want your testicles to descend, RUN to the nearest record shop and purchase some early Pearl Jam. Immediately follow that up with Wu Tang and Lacuna Coil, followed by Rollins Band and Black Flag, finally followed by any album that features Ronnie James Dio and the Miles Davis album "the complete birth of cool" which stands as one of the most ballsy recordings ever made (note: these aren't all I listen to, I'm just trying to help this guy grow a pair musically).

However not withstanding Mr. Embrings Douchbaggedness, to some strange extent, I feel rather vindicated by the attention I have garnered through this blog, because as I've stated about 20 times already, I NEVER did anything but post my musings here, all the attention I get is from word of mouth. So Douche thank you for increasing my visibility through your lame ass attempt at presenting yourself as being a superior intellectual specimen. Which apparently extended itself all the way into your need to show some "few hundred" impressionable Brown yuppie larva your vague and unremarkable ramblings (though indirectly). You sir are what the French call........ a Fuckin Dork.

I Shall be emailing you to remind you of this fact, in addition to retrieving the info I need to further push you're face into a big pile of internet poo.

Of douche Bags and lesbian sodomy...

Why is it that every tit with comments that stink more than their assholes, always conveniently forgets to leave his name (I'll say he but it could easily be some dumb twat as well), and or proof of their claims to validate their usually not so interesting remarks. With that in mind look at this post response.

"I teach a class which focuses on how the internet affects our society at Brown University. This week we are focusing on "internet voids and wastes". I am going to use this blog as an example. Thank you for giving me such fantastic teaching material which will prevent my students from turning out like yourself and so that they may actually produce something that has some kind of meaning and coherence. Odd how you make fun of MTV as your blog seems to belong on it."

While from you're lack of correct comma usage (or nonuse as the case may be), I could definitely believe you teach at brown. while normaly I'd write a short slap back in your face response, I'm more inclined to chew you up and spit out you're limp dick assertions because you think your smart, when in fact you're probably of average intelligence. Do you think you're intelligent just because you got into Brown? If you do then I should tell you most Ivy Leaguers I know are fucking morons who just take tests well. Kinda like I imagine you are.

First off, No FUCKING WAY IN HELL, would an MTV apothecary DARE to speak against the father landish Viacom. But that pales in comparison to the notion of an MTVite actually listening to Stevie Ray or the Bird. As was stated in my previous post albeit not directly, MTV's version of good music is rather weak tea attached to a nice half-nude metrosexual body. Most of the groups I push people to listen to are ugly freak geniuses that manage to "keep it real" through their talent alone. I'm sorry if you prefer southern fake titty white trash in a mini, mutilating a ghost written song. I guess I was just born with more taste in my penis than you have in you're whole body.

Second, Brown U could indeed teach a course on such a farcical topic, as it would probably be slightly more popular than Interpretive Asian Lesbian Modern Dance, and How to be a pseudo-intellectual Brown Asswiper. However, they don't have any Com Sci courses being taught this summer, in fact the only class that came even close to that description you gave us was AN0010 Cultural Anthropology: Understanding Human Societies, which as it turns out, is taught by a Instructor: S. L. Krehbiel, a lowly grad student. Is this you Miss? Yet wait there is another problem with you’re claim........ that class was canceled.... Awwwwwww, you're just a little faker bitch.

So I guess you're just a sad little human who tries to pretend to be something you're not.... WOW I think YOU belong on MTV you fucking butt plug. Rot in you're mediocre IQ. I'll sit behind mine, which is damn near genius.

MTV and Crack

I recently realized that the world is populated almost entirely with good looking people between the ages of 18 – 25 who apparently have severe emotional issues with which they have no qualms displaying for national TV, because “it’s all about what you feel inside and stuff.” No, I didn’t just walk down the streets of Albany (not enough fake tits here to notice that kind of derangement). I watched 10 minutes of “reality” TV on MTV and now I can’t get the image of emotionally disturbed 20-year-old quasi-Hitler Youth out of my head.

So it’s become painfully apparent that MTV and its parent company Viacom aren’t satisfied with churning out crappy music and semiliterate sex symbols anymore. Now they’ve branched off and made all of their so-called Music Television into a line-up of reality TV series that depict the hormonally charged, alcohol dependant, mental effluvium which somewhat resembles every game show ever made. Creative, no? I hope to God at least one of you agrees with me, and here is why.

1) It means at least one other person out there realizes that somewhere along the line these shitbag shows have gone from early 90’s Real World (a somewhat interesting and original idea which depicted REAL people in honest situations... such as... Realizing you weren’t going to make it in showbiz, or hey.... You’re out of college, get a job you fat shit!) To the current version which maintains an open bar in the house 24/7 in hopes that a full blown orgy will break out amongst the 7 extremely high strung underwear models that reside in the palatial mansion which is the Real World house. Hmmm now that’s real!! I can almost taste the silicon implants!

2) The fact that MTV has turned popular modern music into the laughable white elephant of audio dung, which has been foisted over on a younger generation, that now thinks more with their genitalia and mom's credit card than with their ever wavering powers of deduction and taste, has become an affront to even a semi-intelligent society. That last part could explain why MTV does so well in our society.... It’s utterly disgusting and a big circle jerk of mediocrity.

Rot in Hell Music executives, you impotent chickenshit Corporate teat sucking fuckholes.


But despite my ranting and reformulating of ideas about modern youth culture without any real firsthand info (otherwise known as me being a reactionary and curmudgeonly asshole) I decided to investigate for myself just how bad things might have gotten since I last went to a Lollapalooza.... So just for the hell of it I decided to find out what was so appealing about this olfactive caca. Just for you and I, I wasted last Saturday wandering around the streets of Albany waiting for people with bad haircuts and lots of bling bling to talk to me so I could find out what's cool to listen to now. So I sampled a bit from a young man with more rings in his face than all the bulls in Pamplona (note: I’m all for self expression but there is such as thing as going overboard.... Like when you start drawing electricity from light sockets just by standing near them.) After listening, I had the tremendous urge to go to Crossgates Mall and buy a new $200 pair of "kicks," comb my hair over my eyes, buy an "Emo" record to put on my cool new phone that takes pictures, records MP3's and acts as a GPS, then stick a red hot poker up my ass. Fortunately for me the urge subsided the second I got into my car and I heard some Sam Cook albums.

Dear God what wont Viacom try to foist over on our youth obsessed culture... Good thing they own lots of cable, radio, and communications companies lest we be given a break from their predominant proboscis of material love and credit lines. Lets face it folks.... these people are pure evil. After all, some old repressed gay conservative exec at Viacom is the only explanation for Nick Lache and Justin Timberlake. I wish I could give more examples but seriously......... that stuff sucks hoo hoo hole and i have a tough time ingesting something that reminds me of some chicks used up chachie (that is to say over-stretched and dripping with failure, or herpes whatever comes first). When I hear that crap, it's like a spasm of good taste comes over me and I feel the need to play a Stevie Ray Vaughn album or maybe some Alice in Chains, it's a knee jerk reaction, totally out of my control. For now I'll just point and laugh at our image driven metrosexual recording industry and all the little robot shitheads it's created.

New Posts

They are comming soon.

And to those of you who don't like the blog........ I hope it's mere presence on the internet is a hair up your ass for the rest of your natural days. Knowing that I annoy you like an undigested peanut scraping the wall of your sphincter on the way out gives me much satisfaction.

A letter for Markus Naslund, who makes me sick

Today Mr. Naslund.... never known for his good sportsmanship, took a huge leap towards 100% pure dumbass meathead status today. In reference to the Todd Bertuzzi hit on Steve Moore.
For those of you who haven't seen it and have no desire to read about it I'll illustrait quickly.
Here we see the hit
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Here we see Moore after 10 minutes of unconciousness
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and finally Bertuzzi with pensive face
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Naslund was quoted as saying "I've got no respect for him at all... This is just a guy who's trying to hit a home run [financially], someone who wasn't good enough to play."

Really Mr. Naslund? You spoiled piece of shit who should be playing hockey right now but wont give up 1.6 million of his contract with the rest of you spoiled overpriced under talented NHL "superstars"(for definition of preceding term look up Bobby Holik or Alexi Yashin). You are the lowest of the low. Your the type of person that voted GW bush into office. You think the death penalty is a good thing and abortion should be outlawed because it's immoral. You probably spend your free time picking the peanuts out of Rush Limbaugh’s Poo. You blind piece of EuroTrash.

First off, Moore was a journeyman player, the type of player who can't get by on his talent alone. So he had to work hard everyday to stay at a level where he could compete with those more talented individuals like yourself and Bertuzzi, who get millions solely off of a natural ability you were blessed with. If you didn't have your tallents I bet you'd never have said something so stupid. Your an asshole for not thinking of that.

Secondly, Bertuzzi who was probably on 'roids at the time made a heinous assault from behind on a much smaller player, who had made a clean and hard check on YOU earlier in the year. Your team was losing the game and your teammate broke LAWS, Civil, Criminal, Ethical, and the basic laws of decent human behavior with a vicious attack from behind. As far as I'm concerned Bertuzzi should be allowed to play in the NHL again and half of his paychecks for the rest of his career should go to Moore. It's only fair because of the career and life threatening injuries Bertuzzi's ill-advised actions inflicted upon Moore.

Thirdly, Moore wasn't hospitalized with a paper cut you moron. He has a BROKEN NECK, amnesia, and extreme Post Concussion Syndrome. All things that would compromise anyone’s ability to live a normal life let alone play in the NHL. You make me sick, you inconsiderate turd.

Lastly Players like Steve Moore are what the game of hockey is all about, guys giving it their all to play. Going out every night and working their asses off just to be there. I’ll take a one Steve Moore to a whole team full of Naslunds or Burtuzzis at least then you wont have to worry about Lockouts and Strikes.

On one final note I'd like to say that when the NHL resumes play I'm going to buy tickets for the first Nucks/Rangers game I can, JUST so I can bring my hate of your vile selfish self into the arena and hopefully through some karmic justice cause you to have a serious injury that night......... you disgust me. Rot in Hell.

Colonie Cops = monkey's asshole

To be more specific.... colonie cops are monkey assholes. This is no new news but I'll spin my tale of woe anyway. So last night I'm in my car with my girlfriend and my friend Jon and we are following my friend Dave and Holly to a restaurant to have dinner and have a generally good time. Apparently though this cop who I shall now refer to as "meathead" had other plans.
I was about to pull through the light at the local mall when I see the lights behind me. Seeing as how I wasn’t speeding, I hadn't done any illegal lane changes and I hadn't given him the finger while my two passengers mooned him.... I was kinda interested to fine that he was after me. So I pull over and he told me he pulled me over on a Saturday night with drunk drivers whizzing by, because he saw my rear plate at a non-parallel angle..... This was really strange to me seeing as how it was attached with both bolts to the car.... He then asks for license and all that good stuff. And a few minutes later he comes back and tells me that not only my registration, but my license has been suspended as well.
Now, seeing as how I've been paying my insurance bill faithfully for the past 8 months..... I find this rather strange. And he then tells me that he is going to tow my car. WHOOPIE!!!! Of course all of this comes with his killer alpha male attitude that started up the moment he saw my very attractive girlfriend in the back seat. So I'm freaked out seeing as how I need my car to make money, and at this time two other cops come up and they are probably the most courteous and helpful cops I've come across (which is to say not very). They suggest to me to call the insurance company (good damn luck on a sat night). To make a long story short, they were no help what-so-ever. And after 20 minutes of frustration I give up and tell them to tow the car to my house. Of course this all comes AFTER I notice the meathead hitting on my girlfriend.... This was especially irritating given the fact that I needed to ask him some questions which he refused to answer then I saw him searching the trunk of my car and threatening my friend jon over drug suspicion. Talk about a dickhead. If it weren't for the fact that he was the size of a linebacker I'd doubt he was male, cause instead of a professional, he acted like a little bitch. So one illegal search of my trunk and $150 later I was back at my house with my friends who were at this point thoroughly bummed out and as embarrassed as I was. Needless to say it was an early night.
So now I need to bum a ride off my friends to the wonderful metropolitan oasis known as the Pearl St DMV. Where I take it I'm going to be spending more money on other peoples mistakes and dealing with some truly choice individuals. OH WHAT A JOY it is to have cops that take the mean criminals off the street, like me and my harmlessly white bread friends who's list of infractions with the law include such insidious violations as "no front plate" and 30mph in a 20!
In case this wasn't already known........ I FUCKING HATE COPS!!!

White Trash, Disembowelment, and Bad Parenting

So for those of you who don't know already, I think about 75% of the people that breed, shouldn't. It's not because they aren't good-looking or they don't have the acceptable amount of intelligence to spawn a child that would prefer to pick up a book instead of lighting his own farts on fire, although these are valid reasons for that 75% not to spawn. The main reason why is because they are simply unfit parents. They neither know how to create or inspire proper behavior in themselves as adults let alone transfer such values as.... Covering your mouth when you cough, or to not dress like a damn whore cause your only 13, or even ones as simple as BATHE!

This and other wonderful idiosyncrocies were what I was treated to on Thursday night when my friend Rick was kind enough to invite me along for a sneak preview of the box-office pile of poo titled SAW. (Note: I was very excited to see this film as it was supposed to be as good or better than Se7en which I thought was so twisted it made my retina's jump for joy with every little blood splatter.) I won't go into how this movie was so far from being even entertaining let alone scary. Though it is true I did wince once or twice, but that might have been from the acrid smell of Cheeto's and Kudo's wafting from the 14 or so residents of what undoubtedly was a double wide trailer, seated around and in front of us. These people STANK of price chopper brand soaps and laundry detergent that wasn't used in nearly enough quantity, the resulting effect is a disturbingly pungent mix of lye and BO that made me thankful I had a miserable sinus infection. I honestly don't know how Rick sat there with free nasal passages, though I did catch him looking for new seats a few times, alas there were none.

Along with the stench, these people brought with them an assortment of medical and psychological cachexia that simply was not to be believed. The first I noticed was the young lad of 12 who decided to sit right next to me with his ADD. Aside from the constant twitching, stink and his fighting from his older brothers and sister, what purpose does a 12 year old boy have in an R rated slasher flick? Answer... TO ANNOY ME! Yes indeed that must have been the only reason, because it's not as if he isn't already behind in life they needed to jam horrific visions of death into his already addled head. This was nothing however compared to the aforementioned girl of 13 or 14 who was sitting right in front of Rick and I dressed like she was going scuba diving and not trying to see a nice R rated flick with her and her kin from the dirt farm. Though I must admit she was able to sit still not fight with her siblings long enough to realize being with them was some embarrassing shit. Because of this I label her "most likely to not be white trash in 10 years," out of her entire garm, I think she has the best chance to do it, more power to her.

However what was completely unforgivable and had me ready to call child services was the 4 year old daughter that Mr. and Mrs. Joe Dirt 2 brought in with them. What kind of fucking moron brings a 4 year old girl to this movie? I saw Indiana Jones at the age of 9 and it still gave me freakin nightmares. I can't imagine what the sight of another 4 year old girl with a gun to her head saying "daddy help me" would do to a young girl like that. It then became apparent to me that I wasn't just dealing with white trash..... I was dealing with sub-human white trash. Mole People probably have better family values than these people do. Really and truly terrifying if you ask me, much more scary than the movie itself is the fact that these people represent some of our voting public out there. In light of that I'm now putting myself on the ballot for the 2008 election under the "if your stupid you die" platform.


Under my rule, if you are stupid.... You die. That way we don't get incidents like this occurring again and I'll not have to think about some 4 year old girl awake at night in the back of her daddy's trailer listening to the sounds of daddy fingerbanging her sister, all the while scared that the man in the mask is going to come steal her away. As a result of what I saw I deem it ironic that, being kidnapped by the man in the mask would be an improved situation for her.... I wish more power to her also though I think it unlikely genetics would smile on both her and the older daughter and supply them both with the will and smarts to improve their lot in life. Here's to hoping...
Cheers